Speechwriting: Corporate, Weddings, Retirement


Apple Sauce Recipe for Men - 20 minutes and you are eating

Why men? I'm a guy. I made this recipe up based on some ingredients a buddy mentioned over the phone while I stood in a grocery store. He looked them up on the internet, and found them on some blog. I didn't measure anything, unless counting apples counts.

  • 4 Macintosh apples
  • 4 golden delicious apples
  • Honey
  • Ground cinnamon
  • Decent cognac
  1. Cored by chopping off a chunk from each side, leaving skin on. It is easier this way.
  2. Toss into a big pot with a little water.
  3. Flame on medium-high.
  4. Cover with heavy top.
  5. Go watch the game for two-three minutes. Not longer.
  6. Stir every few minutes since what you really want to do is look like you know what you are doing.
  7. Gently squish apples with potato masher. Let the apples know who is in charge.
  8. As things go along, turn down the heat. No one wants burned apples.
  9. When all apples are squished, use tongs to relieve the apple skins of their duty. These will be easy to grab. Toss them in the garbage disposal and grind them up, sending them to neverland.
  10. With heat on low, add some honey, cinnamon, cognac to taste. Too much is too much, so watch it.
  11. Note, the cognac adds a quietly nutty flavor, but also adds sweetness, so be careful with that honey.
  12. Heat a little longer until it looks like apple sauce.
  13. Cool until you can't handle it, then grab a spoon and eat.
    Or, if you have company, put it in a fancy bowl only used for visitors.
  14. There will not be any left, so don't worry about saving them in a nice Tupperware or anything.
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