Speechwriting: Corporate, Weddings, Retirement


Hot Showers - My Political Platform

If I could change the world, I would ensure a shower for every person in the home, and unlimited hot water. Unlimited, I say -- unlimited!

Think of how many ugly mornings would turn quickly to bliss. Marital squabbles would reduced to half. It is unclear what impact this would have on the correlating coffee consumption's economy.

If the King of the World position opens up, just know that's the platform I will be running on. Neither the Republicans nor the Democrats have demonstrated they can do this. They have both presented that they can, in fact, reside in hot water, but not as it relates to showers at 5:45 am. They have already countered by showing off their capacity to blow hot air, but I already own a hair dryer.
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