- Cousin Oliver (Robbie Rist) from the Brady Bunch (to announce his big comeback in Las Vegas)
- Professional racist and one of the Ku Klux Klan leaders Thomas Robb (to admit he is a loser with a special secret)
- Paul "Pee-wee Herman" Reubens (to announce his enduring love for Robb)
- Liberace (to announce he is not dead, and for Reubens to back off from Robb)
- Martha Stewart (to acknowledge she hates crafts, cooking and gardening)
- Rosie O'Donnell (to sincerely say something nice about someone she disagrees with)
- Arnold Schwarzenegger (to admit he is, in fact, Democrat)
- Oprah Winfrey to say Stedman was the brains behind the show
- Oprah Winfrey to give away nothing, and say, "I'm not buying your love this time!"
- Oprah Winfrey to say "Gee, we signed another contract."
Special Musical Guests
- Peter Noone of Herman's Hermits to sing their hit, "I'm Henry the Eighth I Am"
- Milli Vanilli to reunite, singing "Auld Lang Syne," this time without lipsync
- Bob Dylan to sing a duet medley with Helen Reddy, "Just Like a Woman/I Am Woman"
More Oprah kitsch than you can imagine: Search Amazon.com for Oprah_Winfrey