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Voting the Issues (Are You Serious?)

Dick Dastardly
Voting the issues. You say you do it, but it seems issues are fungible.

We vote for only candidates in our party. It doesn't matter what they think. We'll defend our man (apparently women aren't popular potential presidents in either party) no matter how awkward the gaffe, no matter how ugly the youthful indiscretion was. We might like to say, "But I grew up in a hardcore XYZ party family and I'm a free thinker." Cute, but each year, you vote predictably. True independent voters don't exist. The last one died years ago, choking on a peanut in 1979.

We vote for whomever was blessed by whatever church we approve of. Maybe your church has a pretty white steeple or is one of those new fangled ones which looks like a shopping mall. Maybe your church is the coffee shop on the corner, your communion is a lemon poppyseed cake and a triple shot latte, with the sign of the sign of the croissant roll given by your barista. We are all followers, afraid to declare we are lemmings. Even atheists have religion, godless as it may be.

No one votes issues anymore. That is so 1980s. Issues left us with the death o parachute pants. We're smarter now, with soul patched goatees and horned rimmed glasses. We are all about who can zing the opposition and their minions the best. It is us, and it is them. Snarky is truth. White Sox and Cubs. Packers and Bears. Yankee Doodle Pigeon and Dick Dastardly. Who is funniest? Who wears what to the grand ball? My candidate has more celebs than yours. Did you hear what Rush Olbermann said on MSNFOX? Red states, blue states, pink issues, yellow ribbons, Green party. What color matches your eyes today?

Which is God's Party?
Those people on the other sides aren't REAL Christians. No, no, really. Look it up. It is in Romans 10:9-10, where it deals with the complex issue of election (vs freedom of choice):

"If you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and vote for His political party and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead and sent His candidate to be in the White House, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, with your vote your demonstrate your faith, and it is with your mouth that you profess your faith and are saved, until the next election." 

Find out what Romans 10:9-10 really says in almost any translation you can think of. Then you Generation Xers and Baby Boomers enjoy the video below.

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