Speechwriting: Corporate, Weddings, Retirement

9/23/10

Facebook Down? What to Do: Ten Tips

Facebook is down. You cannot play silly games or pretend you are convincing anyone with your arguments. What can you do? Sure, you can work, but, come on, you were avoiding that already. Don't change now.
  1. Twiddle your thumbs.
    This art lost favor as Blackberry and X-box become popular, but you can work on technique. Think about the 2012 Olympics in London. Be ready.
  2. Go for a run.
    You promised you would lose weight January 1. Hop to it. See you in an hour.
  3. Look in your desk for candy.
    A few gems might have been lost. Don't despair. Go get 'em.
  4. Adjust your socks.
    That discomfort you felt all morning? Good chance to get that good footsie feeling.
  5. Update your cell phone directory.
    You broke up with your girlfriend three years ago. Go ahead. Delete her. She's not going to call. Sorry, but move on.
  6. Repeat #3.
    You never know. Maybe a stick of gum hid in the last few minutes. It could happen.
  7. Check Twitter.
    Well, like, duh. Send out a few replies to celebrity posts. Maybe their assistant will reply. Try me.
  8. Suck your teeth.
    Work out that corn on the cob piece from last night. Still bugs you, huh? Suck away, my friend, you've got time.
  9. Call your mama.
    She loves you, bud. She tolerated your antics and shenanigans throughout your youth. You know the number.
  10. Write useless posts on your blog.
    Or, read mine. Thanks for reading. Click here to see if Facebook is back up. 
  11. Check out my spider pics.
    What? You think I can count? Eight legs. I counted. https://www.instagram.com/jorospider/ 

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