Speechwriting: Corporate, Weddings, Retirement


The Lord's Prayer: The Pie Version (Happy Pi Pie 3.14 Day)

Being a spiritual sort of fellow, having learned the Lord's Prayer as a wee lad in CCD, but also having learned about Baker's Square, French Silk Pie, apple pie, and all the others, it occurred to me that God made pie, as He is the creator of all things. In my running club, someone suggested (and another 'amened') that there was a pie heaven. I'll check my Bible on this one, but I'm game.

The Lord's Prayer: The Pie Version
by Anthony Trendl

Our pie, which art in heaven,
pastry be thy crust
Thy bakery come,
thy filling done,
baked in hearths as it is in ovens
Give us this way our daily bread.
And forgive us when we forget the ice cream,
as we forgive those who do not cut us a slice.
Lead us into taste sensation,
but deliver us from cholesterol.
For thine is the apple, the pecan, and the blueberry, for ever and ever.
I'm full.


Had We Had Known You Were a Freak, We'd've Killed You Before You Were Born

"Kalanit, we love you very much, but before you left the womb, had we know what kind of abnormal human you would become, we would have aborted you. Really, we think our life would be better without you. In fact, we even sued the hospital for making us take you."

"You were born a freak, and are still a freak, and, frankly, we only wanted child like your brothers and sisters."

That is what Ariel and Deborah Levy hope never to tell Kalanit when someone asks her, "Aren't you the woman whose parents wished was never born?"

The gist: "Portland couple sues Legacy Health for $3.6 million for "wrongful birth" after child born with Down."

I think it is deplorable to selectively abort, and the parent's attitude indicates a sad -ism against Down Syndrome kids.

It is not just perfectionism, but a definition of what counts as what's good enough to be allowed humanity. Apparently, the parents didn't think their daughter deserved to be born, something they should hope she never learns.

Sure, we all want our kid to be a professional pianist, President of the United States and speak 10 languages. But the Levy's wanted more: to kill their unborn child just because she had a chromosome count different than what they preferred.

According to this article by Aimee Green, the Levy's aren't alone: "Several studies show that more than 89 percent of women who learn they will give birth to a child with Down syndrome choose to terminate their pregnancies."

Would they have aborted their daughter if they thought she would be gay? Short? Fat? With only one arm? Speak with a lisp?

My guess is yes, in a heart beat.